Every year, I told myself
I would go next year.
telling myself he would always be there,
I could call, but its OK he knows I care.
I’ll call next week,
now I just wish he was sitting next to me.
God fucking dammit I can’t stand it,
There’s a cold fucking breeze,
its constantly blowing around me.
But I can also still feel your warmth.
Your laugh echos in my head,
Along with some other voices.
I sometimes hear you during a tough day,
There are sleepless nights though
where I cant hear anything
tossing and turning in bed,
Long days at work,
those are sometimes the worst.
making me crazy.
these child hood memories,
and my adult big boy priority’s,
they take turns.
I can’t seem to not take so many turns,
I’m afraid to fly straight.
I just get up early every day for life,
bring home some shit,
turn a corner to fast I sometimes see him.
dehydrated, or over exhausted at work,
regardless there’s a constant tension.
But mostly I just feel worn down.
my feet are becoming part of the ground,
like I’m growing roots.
but I’m still making my rounds,
my co workers think I’ll come around.
my family thinks I’m mellowing out,
and my lady thinks I’m settling down.
But a lot of the time I’m just looking around,
or looking at the ground,
seeing lots of brown, The color of shit.
or the toilet paper at work.
I feel like I live there….Mostly, the bathroom.
I wish I felt that way with my chick,
I’d love to live a normal life with her.
Drive her crazy, run around with my pants off
get ready for my balls
maybe streak up and down the streets
just so everybody can see that I’m in need.
It’s like I need shock therapy, for my library
It needs to feel a lot less like a cemetery,
and more like a comical commentary.
i feel like my life has the same routine as coffee
my beans are always grinding
I smell bold but taste less sweet than expected
I’m sorry I cant be all roses daily.
but hey at least i don’t leave anybody neglected.
butt crack pictures for everyfuckingbody.
When your apart of my life you have to pick your poisons.
I think your phones are making fart noises.
Honestly the best quality I take from my father,
has to be jokes and fun. Although…
you can see a lot more of his talents in his daughter.
I proudly inherited the ability
to fall asleep while stirring coffee.
I just wish I inherited 9 lives,
and the ability to speak to sock monkey’s.
It’s funny everybody calls me a zombie killer
but sometimes I feel like I’m the zombie.
smells like coffee.