My heart roughly beats

My body surly aches 

I try to get through everyday 

even on no sleep I do whatever it takes

My muscles burn,

up to my shoulders it feels like it will all break

Eating better at least,

winning the battles, no more inner beasts

working almost every day

trying to not look insain I’m just trying to get my release 

I’m sure I look pretty crazy

While the sky ahead looks stormy

I’ve got my lady with me and her little shorty

And if the sky drops water down on our heads

Charley will be along to stomp those puddles out shortly

with plenty of space ships that we’ll pretend 

There always feels to be a silver lining now a days

a brighter side to every surface

a silver lining all the way

It gets hard, but we get through it

With all the curve balls we’ve taken,

It’s our turn to pitch

Sometimes it rains, sometimes it pors

and then sometimes there are fuckin rain storms

But I’m done running, I’m done closing doors

I know that I’m suppose to feel like the chains are broken and I’m free from the shackles blah blah but, There are still burn marks from where all the metal was worn. 

A long time ago when I was a kid

I dreamed all day and thought all night

I dreamed about saving people 

I thought about all the people I love

and most of all I really hated fights

I couldn’t not care

I couldn’t not love

I also couldn’t stop starring at the stars

my head was always floating up above

As an adult I am very much the same

But as an adult though I am much less sain

So many pieces missing

I don’t know where to begin 

I feel parts of me now

so much more solid than before

but now there are parts of me

I can’t even grasp from the floor 

I feel them slipping away

I feel myself also slipping

my brain going

but my belief, is my anchor 

I try to hold onto it 

as my morals keep me strong 

While doing my best to not hold onto the past

I struggle to not accidentally loose grip of my mind

I miss the days where I was simply worried about holding onto my sobriety

Now a days I worry about what it is thats going on inside of me

Moving on from the biggest heart break I thought I’ve ever felt

But holding myself up better than ever, regardless of the damage dealt 

first time getting shit on by a chick and not chasing it down with a drink

So why has it become so hard to see whats inside of me

I don’t feel mentally ill,  or bitter beyond belief 

At times I even see a future glimpse of peace 

It’s a nice taste

but its a small taste

maybe I’ve just carried my last load 

or maybe I’m adapting for rest of this road 

either way, this prison I’ve built for myself is getting to cramped 

I’ve set myself up

I’ve sewn myself shut

Thrown to many walls up

just to knock to many walls down 

Bones made of broken concrete 

and the flesh made from band aids

I’m told my heart is made of solid gold

maybe

I think those are just really shiny lemons 

nobody is perfect

certainly not me 

With a mind so lost I wish I could donate my body

To someone that better desserves it

One of the most creative beautiful minds I’ve ever met has MS

why do I have a healthy body when my mind is such a mess

I’ve purposely kept myself to bussy to clean up the stress 

The most heart breaking thing about the adult world

is that you can’t save the world

some kids wish they could fly

others wish they could see or walk through walls

some even wish they had bullet proof skin

I just wanted to change lives and be friends with them all

Is it time to be a grown up and finally throw away the cape?

Or is it time to say fuck it and be a kid for just one more day

either way I want my mind back, and I want things to make sense

Above all I want to change the world, and make a difference.

Serenity

some say it’s so hard to catch

or so hard to find

but maybe we struggle so because we are blind

We run in every direction 

and only stand still when we don’t have to pay attention 

the small voice in my heart, that calls out to the wind

I wish to find the path

where the hell do I begin?

the breeze takes me I go

Such a strong heart I hold

the blood, and love always flows

There may be many scars 

but they are pages 

I wish I could write them all for the rest of ages

the maps to my life

I wish I could find them all

all the familiar and new faces

I do not hesitate to embrace them all

life is clear

and feelings are thick 

I pretend to be invisible

but according to everyone else I am transparent 

emotions prevent me from disappearing

an anchor in my stomach and head light for the tunnels

 all I wish to do

is leave my hand print on that big big wall

the wall we will all smash down together

along side with these people that I love

lets all drop the bitterness 

it’s no fun dancing in pickle juice

but I love dancing under trees topped with open blue skys

the birds bathing in my eye’s

wind through my body

dirt in my skin

 and ocean spray on my face

or perhaps the forests bark beneath my feat

these are the days

we must path the way, changing the old patterns 

my channels are open

and my heart is geared 

some super glue and hugs

and this face will see no more treers

but much rain 

and much faith

trust and understanding will take you a long way

I love you

I think of you every day

catch the bouquet

marry and be happy

please love and love and love more

and have many kids

everyone desserves to experience creation

everyone desserves a chance to live until expiration

but we never stop

as long as clouds form

and suns clear up skys

I promise to always be there

in life or death

in feeling, in motion

regardless of forgiveness or hatred 

I extend my hand always

I lend you my wings, and I will be your wind

just always look forward

and never walk backwards 

this is to everyone I love

Every day will be as bright as we can make it

every mountain top will be ours 

every flower will bloom because of us

and every dream will come to life

our lives, are in our hands

and our hearts, are free to sour throughout these lands

roam free

discover

grow and love

I will be that feather of that never hits the ground

I will always follow the wind

I will always follow you

all of you

Every time your down 

just look on up

and when ever you see a shooting star,

remember who you are

be proud 

we’re really all just feathers flowing in the wind

so don’t worry to much about where life takes you

were flowing together

Lets leave something good behind for everyone else

I try to be a gentleman but the fact of the matter is, I love butts. Big butts, sometimes small butts. all kinds of butts, round butts, maybe every now and then a flat butt. But I love round awesome butts. Power to the butts!

I wana write, 

So bad

I want to write it all out in one night

but nothing so sad

I just want this painful leach 

off of my chest

I want to a pair of clean sheets

and a life that doesn’t feel like a game of chess

I’ll break your chess board

and shatter your chess pieces

I’ll sail so far north

like a crazy mofo I’ll use cheez-its to commit treason 

Butt holes

all over your face when I’m done 

I’ll use your left hand to eat pixie toes

and use your right hand to wipe my bum

Did you hear about what I did to Kenye West?

I put hulk hands on and punched right through his chest

Used a toy lightsaber to bust open his testicle nest

Pee Wee herman went destroyed his poopy hole

with his wiener wrapped up in a bullet proof vest

Then like Mike Tyson I bit his ear off

crushed his teeth into pixie dust, snorted it like crack

I put his ear in a box and mailed it to taylor swift 

told her to not take anybody’s shit, and she could finally have her moment back

Don’t pick on little girls mr. west

Unless your first name is adam, you can put your hands on my breasts

oh wait I don’t have any

thats just a dream I had

nightmares I’ve had maney

and I think I’m going mad

I’m sorry if you want to shoot me

let me put my make up on first, because I’d do me

You also gotta get through my two toughest homies

fuckin woodstock and snoopie

for my Bday one year they tipped over the Ice cream truck 

and stole all the mint chip ice cream cookies

looky looky 

next mother fucker that calls me eminem 

I’ll put you on a leash

and make you my seeing eye dog bitch named cinnamon

 Don’t act like I’m such an evil heathen 

If you want butt face We’ll make a movie all about your man period

and have it be narrated by Morgan Freeman 

aguysmind:

Olivia Munn

LOOK WHAT JESUS DID

Saw the dude strung out on the corner again

It feels so bad to see, that dude is my friend

Another solder fallen 

another gain to the drug game in the end

So much chemical dependency 

so much small time pills and nugs

turned into brain numbing TNT

soul killing its slowly killing you and even me

it’s not just the user affected

but you’re loved one’s, family’s that can’t be protected

by you’re choices, inability to be connected 

You’re false pride preventing you from being corrected

Maybe for you to get it it’s gonna take a hard fall 

you wana play hard ball?

balls to the wall you think your living big kid life 

till you lost it all and your starring at who came out on top

and only when it’s to late do you think about what you neglected 

for just a small nug of weed,

me and your loved one’s had to be rejected 

So many young adults stuck

trapped in a rut

feet held down in the mud 

couldn’t get you out if we tied you to a truck

to many people lost all direction 

where to go from here, it takes a series of corse corrections

some unable to hold down a job,

pill popping is their only profession 

Some lucky and getting by check to check

spending it all on co dependency and 

there casual habit turned into a train wreck 

By the hair on my white ass I scraped by 

But for this batch of nut balls they won’t shift

even when they see their kids cry, 

in pain

boyfriends having to catch them ina lie 

a turmoil cycle of lie’s again

hurting people day by day

girlfriends feeling worth less

than something that should only be left the size of a pill

but it’s all blown up to be bigger than anything living or breathing

the battle has horribly changed to up hill

the government blows the people off

and tells them to skip along like jack and jlll

until some poor bastard breaks his crown

you think you’re the only one falling down?

look around 

stop looking at the ground 

there’s a world of hearts out there 

people ready to start again and touch ground

ready to hear feeling and touch sounds

you’re up next time to come back down to the real world

time to free yourself of the blood hounds 

lets take this shit by the throat

and move forward  by leaps and bounds

the voices in your head gone

you call the shots 

make the ripples 

when you kick the habits and throw rocks

when you walk youself to the door 

It’s your own hand that knocks

help has arrived for you because you showed up 

you’re gonna be good here on out

but you’ve gotta be tough

get the fuck over yourself and show up

the rest is up to you

Don’t let your flow get stuck

Omg marry me